June 25, 2006

Keeps Going

Nothing has really set in yet. I can't decide if I've really become numb to all these changes, or I just don't care. I feel odd and kind of out of place.

I've wanted to go out a lot lately. Normally I'm happiest just getting fat in front of my computer, but something keeps telling me to just go and leave. Somewhere. I don't know what. Unfortunately, I'm kind of trapped. My day of driving the Civic went well except for one moment, and now I'm not feeling so enthused about taking the car again. I want to really badly, but we'll see.

My mom's surgery is tomorrow morning. The whole situation is so surreal. My mom was saying today that she still feels like it's not her that it's happening to, it's another person. Tomorrow is going to be a terribly long day. Impatience, fear, and worry don't make time pass quickly. I have jobs tomorrow, too. I'm in charge of bringing my mom's bracelet to her that she really likes after the surgery. It's also my job to call the entire family once she's out of surgery. My cell phone battery has been iffy lately, and I hope it'll last the day if I'm using it constantly.

My oma and opa just had an arguement, while I was sitting here next to them, about going home. My oma says that she wants to stay for at least a week after my mom's surgery to make sure that we'll all be okay (mom's friends have already made up shifts to take her to her radiation therapy and anything else we need to get to), but my opa wants to leave ASAP. He says their house needs to be looked after. My mom's brother lives 10 minutes away from their house, I don't see why he can't take care of it...

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