New Car

So, today my mom is getting a new car. It was a by-the-way kind of conversation. The Civic has been troublesome lately, so I guess my mom has had enough. It's a 2007 Corolla LE. I haven't seen it yet, but it's AUTOMATIC. I'm just sad that there's finally a car that I'd be able to drive easily, but I'm moving out... Tear. :(

Getting Exercise

I guess I'm one of those people who wants it, tries, and just gives up over and over. It's pretty annoying, but I'm going to keep trying.

I've been going through the Mac Athletics & Recreation booklet that I got in the mail a long time ago. They have a section for Fitness, and it includes cardio and weight training type things. All three sound interesting to me. I'd really like to join the gym. I keep hearing that regular exercise is key to not killing yourself with stress in university, but I'd also like to feel better and look better. There's fitness appraisal, which is a meeting thing where they give you goals and plans and stuff. There's also personal training, and group training. Personal training might be good, but I hear that it's better just to have a trainer once every few weeks to make sure that you're doing everything properly and such. Group training might be fun, because you bring one or two friends to learn exersizes that the group can help each other with. But, it's probably not good to rely on someone to get your routine done.

Hmm. I think I'll definately join either way. There's other fun activites, too. There's ballroom dancing, and Steve's already agreed to go with me. :D

Clothes

I just cleaned out my dresser and my closet. I never realized how many things that I never wore anymore, and that don't fit me. There's still plenty of things that I'm iffy on. Now I can easily see what I need to buy, and it's a little scary how much I need. So... anyone need to go clothes shopping still?

It's Okay

This has been nagging me for a bit.

I've been feeling awkward at parties. It kind of makes me feel iffy towards going to them. It's just that everyone seems to be waiting for me to go so that everyone can drink. I guess... no one ever asked. There was that huge thing awhile ago, and from it, a million assumptions were made. You can drink while I'm there. At first I felt like no one was having fun just being what we always had been, but I guess this is part of growing up. I haven't really had a fun or exciting time with a drunk person before, so it's not like it's something I get all psyched for... I'm just indifferent. I don't drink because I haven't found anything that tastes good to me, and I just don't care that much about it. I can wait a year, it's just not important to me. The only thing that ever bothered me was a reason to drink that two people gave me. It's just such a wrong and sad reason to do it.

Part of me sees myself as an idiot, missing out on something that you all seem to have so much fun with. That part of me wants to be a "normal teenager" so badly. I want to have fun with my friends again, and not feel like such a weird outcast.

I kind of feel like I've been a hassle to have over. I'm sorry about all this. I'm a little sad that no one ever asked, but then again, I'm much more annoyed at myself for never saying anything. And I didn't know how else to say it but in writing. So... whatever. It's okay.

♪ When I look at the stars

Every once in a while, the view of the night sky is absolutely amazing from my driveway. The stars are truely the most beautiful things I have ever seen. There's just something about them that seems to make thought so clear...

Birthday for Phil

The Damage
Originally uploaded by Kaitlin Smith.

Yesterday I brought Phil some cupcakes for his birthday. We had fun eating them, watching "So You Think You Can Dance," and playing FFXI. I also got to see more baby bunnies. ♥ I can't get over how cute they are. I really wish I could take some home, or at least one. I really like rabbits.

I've discovered a way to edit my picture nicely, so I've been doing that. I took all of my pictures off of Flickr, and I've been adding them back on. I've only been adding a few older photos that I really like, but I'm definately not putting them all back on. It's incredibly boring to do, but at the same time I feel like it has to be done... it's like I'm giving myself busywork.

Countdown

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Work

Yesterday I took a decongestant, and I felt a lot better. I thought I'd be pretty much healthy today. And yet, this morning, I woke up worse. I couldn't breathe very well and I had developed a cough and a tiny bit of a sore throat. Luckily enough though, when I sat up for a bit, the breathing got better. Unfortunately, I also sound like a man. Now I'm worried about how long I'll be sick for...

I just called in sick. I couldn't tell which woman was at the other end of the line, but she wasn't particularly observant.

Me: Hi, it's Kaitlin. I have a cold, so I won't be coming in today...
Her: Oh, there's someone in already.
Me: ...Well yeah, I work 12:30 - 8:30 today. I'm just calling in ahead of time.
Her: Well, Stephanie is in already.
Me: I know, but I can't come in later.

Yeah, that went on for a bit. It turns out that they also changed my hours again without letting me know... The woman said that I was working until 9, not 8:30. I really, really hate when they do that. Would it be so hard to just give me a quick call to let me know? Ugh.

Too Fast

My mom is doing alright so far. She's figured out how to balance all the pills so that she doesn't feel too sick. She tried to explain it to me - something about taking the anti-nausea pills at just the right time before (or was it after?) the chemo pills - but I can't quite remember. There's quite a few other pills in there too that she has to take.

And of course, I had to go and get sick. I caught a cold from my dad. I'm kind of angry with him about it... He knew that my mom could get really, really sick if she caught it too, yet he still hung around Erik and I a whole lot. I mean, I could visit with him, but it would've been a good idea for not a whole weekend plus a Wednesday... I'm washing my hands and using sanitizer as often as I can. My mom is now at risk of bad pneumonia because of me.

I just now noticed the date. It's the 4th, soon to be the 5th, which means that time is going by quickly. My move-in date is on September 3rd, which means that it's less than a month away... I'm pretty terrified. There's a lot that I need to do before I go, and it seems like too much. I don't want to leave.