An alright beginning

Fencing was boring for the first time. There was almost no one there, so we did stupid, easy drills. My instructor told me that I'm going to get nothing out of this course any more, and that I'll have to move up into the Open class to have "the real fun." If I stay in the Open class for two months, I can learn a new weapon! But I think after that two months is up (if I can even get that far), I wouldn't be able to make it anymore... with a summer job and all. The Open class is during the week as well, which makes things difficult to get there.

I can't say I stuck very close to my "diet", but I got a ton of exercise today, and I was careful with what I ate. It wasn't all healthy, but I only took a little. I don't feel bad about it at all, heheh. Aaron is right, it's so much easier to do during the week because there's a schedual. Oh well, it'll work out.

Back to square one.

So I kept some weight off, but then got it back. I have nothing to blame but myself, for getting too cocky and not following my goals. I tend to think a lot in the shower (odd, yes?), and I decided that I need something more to keep me focused.

Blog and mom to the rescue?

My mom is going to help me keep closer track of my dinners. They need to be measured, or else it really doesn't work well.

And if I write in here every day about how I'm doing, then I think it will definitely help keep me focused. With me, there's something about seeing things in writing that really helps my brain. I kind of miss LiveJournal cuts now... Not everyone wants to read about any weight loss progress/fall-backs! ;) So I guess if it bores you (and you actually enjoy reading this otherwise), just skip over it.

So starting tomorrow - since I've eaten everything that I'm going to be eating today - I'll keep much closer track. I think that eventually I'll get the hang of it and it'll become more of a habit. Random fact!: On average, you need to complete the same task about 20 times before it is programmed as a habit in your brain. I just think that's interesting.

Aaron Tait! You've inspired me. Keep up the good work! Just sticking to it works, right? :)

Can't

I'm really trying, but I want to tear out all of my hair. I don't understand physics, and I don't understand chemistry. I'm trying really hard to pay attention in class so I can ask questions once I get lost, but... I don't understand the first line of the note. I can't raise my hand and say, "You lost me about two months ago. Can you explain?" It doesn't work that way.

I don't think I'll be an astronomer. If I can't do the basic things now, how much hope is there? I really want that job... it's so interesting. But it seems like I'm not capable. I'm trying, but it isn't good enough.

The only reason I'm in the 80s is because of group-work. The majority of my tests have been in the 70s.

Luckily...

Today I got a letter in the mail from Queen's stating that they have already made more than half of their acceptances, and they can't accept me at this time, but I'll still be considered until late May when the final acceptances go out.

I honestly think that my grades aren't high enough for their Science program.

But if I hadn't already recieved an acceptance from McMaster, I would feel doomed right now. Still, at the moment, I do feel a little... defeated.

New Layout

I started working on it, but I'm bored now. Is it alright?

Sims

Pretty sure that instead of writing my Art essay, I'm going to make everyone in Sim form. It'll be great.

Rant

Reasons why I hate people being able to make their own MSN names:

- If you love your boy/girlfriend, just tell him/her. If I know that you're dating, I'm pretty sure it's a given that you care.
- Emo lyrics are boring. In the eternal words of Jamie: "World's Smallest Violin."
- Just use regular Roman characters... if I have to spend more than 15 seconds trying to figure out what numbers/symbols represent what letters, I get annoyed.
- Setting your MSN name to "Leave me alone" and being online is just stupid. Want to be left alone? Appear offline. MSN has this handy thing called offline messages if you want to look offline but you can still chat.
- "Woe is me, no one cares..." Ugh! This is just asking for someone to come tottering along and ask you what's wrong. And then you'll say, "Grr, nothing!" At that point you should look at yourself, say "Oh," and then get rid of that stupid thing in your name.
- Random punctuation... '}~ WTF?
- "Styrafoam purse buggy! lolololololol Jen & Bob" Okay, so here's what you do. Wait for Jen and Bob to log in, THEN tell them that personally. You see, inside jokes aren't funny to the fifty-eight other people on your list, so they just don't care.
- Links that you can't even copy & paste without getting the person to talk to you, that take up your entire browser line...
- I really hate reading all of this two hundred times in a chat.

Reasons why the Personal Message feature is so awesome:

- You can put all of your quotes, shout-outs, crazy symbols, and emo things in here, and it won't take up four lines of our chat, every time you send me a message.
- I can make my MSN window narrow enough to completely hide most of these things from view.
- It's just so much cleaner and more organized.

Yeah, I've been guilty of at least two of these things, but I now realize the err of my ways.


Edit: If your MSN name contains one of these things, I don't hate you! It's your name and you can do what you want with it. This is just a personal pet peeve of mine... we all have them.

Freedom?

More than anything, I want to drive...

Passing Time and New & Improved Goals

Today is my dad's first anniversary with Lydia. I'm still mad that he couldn't find a different time, because Erik's birthday is tomorrow. Actually, I don't know why that really bothers me. I just feel like it takes away from his birthday, seeing as how it seems like they're busy cooing and giving each other diamonds.

Erik got majorly spoiled by my dad for his birthday, and I can't help but feel a little jealous. (My dad said that my brother was spoiled because I was spoiled for my 16th birthday - I think I got a flat iron for my hair, but that's hardly being spoiled, hmm...) Erik was given some pretty awesome computer parts, but my dad was too cheap to get the store to put the computer all together, so it became a project of doom. Erik put it together twice, but never got anything but the fans to work. Thanks to my dad's cheapness, Erik won't have a computer at all for almost a week because it needs to sit in the store "being worked on." Why do stores do that? It doesn't take a week to look inside and say, "Oh, there's the problem."

Since my weight loss efforts are failing, I sat down and re-evalutated my goals. It's going to take some major disipline, but it's all very possible.

- No more buying crap from the cafeteria. Crap meaning candy and chips, even if I can get it to fit in with my points. If I do need to buy lunch there, it will definately be sensible.
- Exercising doesn't mean I get to have a little more to eat. That just defeats to whole purpose!
- Snacks should be as healthy as possible. Fruit is good, and tasty. Mmm, fruit.
- Curse you Weight Watchers, for adding FlexPoints. As great as they are to have, I'm going to use them very sparingly.

Yeah, I think that'll do. I really think that after writing these down and really being able to see them, it'll definately help.

And now, Physics homework...